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The Brady Epiphany - Sunday, October 22, 2006
Alright... someone out there needs to help me with an epiphany
I had this evening. Or rather, a suddenly-urgent and nagging question
that popped into my head for an otherwise completely inexplicable
reason. But WTF was with the Brady Bunch. Okay, more specifically,
the Brady parents. Who WERE these people in their former lives?
I mean, seriously... two relatively attractive, well-to-do, SINGLE
parents of three similarly-aged kids, who just so happen to be
living in the same area - or at least were running in similar
circles/cliques - and who manage to meet and hit it off to the
point of marriage? C'mon! Even if all of those entirely and ridiculously
succinct and coincidental circumstances were possible, it would
seem far more plausible for the writers of this show to have the
Brady parents already married at the onset of the show... no?
And frankly, if this happened in MY life, I would strongly feel
that our decision to get married and create a family out of these
people would come to me in something FAR MORE DECISIVE that "...much
more than a hunch...". I think it might be a bit more to
the tune of, "What the fuck....are we fucking crazy? Umm..
Yeah?!?!? Of course we're gonna get fucking married. I mean, we
are NEVER gonna find a more perfect situation. Ever. EVER. Did
we mention, 'Ever'? Like... DUH!"
But that's not even what the realization was,
or what I really need help with. The somewhat-hidden message
that miraculously the stars aligned just right for these two
lonely, equally sexually and maritally active single parents
of three is indeed very intriguing, but the real question is
about the Brady parents' past. Where these characters came from,
what Carol Brady's maiden name was, who their former spouses
were, why they both chose to get a divorce or split from their
significant others and take on the sole guardianship of their
three, same sex kids. Or, on a slightly darker note, were they
ever really married, or were these children the illigitimate
love children of three different, remarkably-similar-in-genetic-makeup
lovers'??? And on the darkest note possible, what actually happened
to their exes? Are Carol and Mike Brady really closet serial
killers? Lots of crazy shit went down in the late 70's/early
80's... ya never know...
- OR -
Did I seriously miss something that was explained
in either the pilot, or maybe some of the episodes, or maybe
even a "Very Brady Christmas" or the "Brady Movie"?
Or maybe worse, was I privvy to this knowledge at some point
and have completely forgotten about it? Its just that I never
really paid attention to the theme song I guess. They never
really explained it in the episodes that I saw, but the message
is that both Carol and Mike had some sort of former life where
their 3 children came from, and no one ever seemed to talk about
it. Maybe alot of the kid's psychological problems (which made
for great episodes) were the product of years of pent-up anxiety
and depression over the loss of their other biological parent.
SO - does anyone know where to get this information?
I dont know why its important... it just is. Maybe I have just
unlocked the secret to Life, the Universe, and Everything -
or maybe that's still 42 and I am just a little too out there
for my own good. At the very least, I think "The Brady
Prequel: An In-Depth Report" is in order.
Or not, but I'd like to know.
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